Thursday, March 18, 2010

Random Remarks About Nothing In Particular

The first thing on my list is the fact that I just saw the creepiest online ad ever. It was in the middle of an article I was reading, and it says, "Introducing the Nexus One, with live wallpaper."

I'm sure this means that your onscreen wallpaper is animated or something, but the mental image is, to me, terrifying. Imagine, say, your grandmother's dining room, with all those damn vines on the wallpaper. Now imagine them crawling around on the wall, and maybe sneaking a tendril or two into your chicken soup. And oh, God...what about that children's wallpaper with the clowns? Think about THAT moving around. The whole idea is just too Stephen King for words...thank heavens I don't have any wallpaper, or else I'd never sleep tonight.

Why on earth can't people hang doors in a logical fashion? I realize this sounds a bit off the wall (well, but look who's writing it), but I was at Citarella gasping at the prices of caviar and foie gras (no, don't be silly, I wasn't BUYING any - I just like to visit them from time to time) a few days ago, and I noticed, as I usually do when I'm there, that their doors are hung backwards. When you enter the store, the door opens inward and is automatic, but when you exit the store, the door ALSO opens inward (i.e., toward you), and is not automatic.

Now consider this for a moment. You are entering the store to shop. You are carrying your purse, say. Maybe a tote bag over your shoulder. And here you have a nice automatic door. But when you go out of the store with your purchases, and some people buy a LOT of stuff in there (people in my neighborhood are WAY too rich), you now have to juggle your groceries trying to open a door toward you with no electric eye opener. Does this make any sense at all? Shouldn't the easy to open door be the one you use when your arms are likely to be full?

And I also think stores should arrange their wares in some sort of logical fashion. I was at Home Depot today, looking at lamps (most of which were just hideous and/or overpriced), and I decided to buy some of those long life lightbulbs because they were on sale, and some roller covers, also on sale...and since I had just seen a nice display of paper towels on sale, I went for that, presuming, of course, that toilet paper, which was what I needed, would be in the same general vicinity. Paper products, right? Wrong. The toilet paper was down in the basement, all the way in the back of the basement, near nothing remotely like it. I don't consider potted plants and barbecues to have anything at ALL to do with toilet paper (although I guess it depends on what you're served at that barbecue). Well, admittedly it was a great sale price (24 double rolls for 12 bucks), but it was a hell of a shlep, when you consider that I also had those light bulbs and roller covers. Grumph.

And it's spring, by God! The weather is gorgeous! And my birthday is coming up, so I stopped in a couple of places, such as H&M and Old Navy, to see what they might be able to offer me in terms of something pretty to wear on my birthday.

Yes, well...I did say spring, didn't I? That would be the season with the flowers, and the nice greening trees, and the sweet little birdies and the sunshine? Yeah, that one. Given that, would someone please tell me why the new colors for the season seem to be black, khaki, and a sort of grayed out lavender? This isn't cheerful and springlike, people...this looks like outfits for a business casual funeral. What I want is a flowered dress, damn it. I did, in fact, find tons of flowered dresses at Kmart, but they were in the children's department. Admittedly I'm on the small side, but...

These things are sent to try us, I suppose. I've got a couple of weeks before the big event, so I shall continue prowling around. I think I'll try JC Penney...I hadn't thought of it until just now because I'm still not used to having one in Manhattan. Maybe I can even find some decent lamps that aren't 400 bucks apiece.

And one final note...why does my computer say of this blog, posted at 7:38 pm? Because it's 11 pm where I am. Do you think blogs exist in some sort of parallel universe, or is it just mine - always a possibility.

Love, Wendy

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