Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bits and Pieces

I am currently in a holding pattern, because I have no idea what's going on with my house. I'm sort of assuming things are moving forward, because otherwise I would be getting requests from Richard the real estate guy to show the house some more. I just wish somebody would let me know. Hey, I just thought of something! I'll ASK! Wouldn't that be clever?

Meanwhile I get up in the morning and read the papers, as usual. A few days ago I found a ghastly little idea on the NY Post's Page Six gossip pages.

"Gossip Girl star Matthew Settle said he was "inspired" by Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson's kiss at the MTV awards. He told fellow guests (at some party or other...I'm not going to type the whole thing) that the smooch represented "huge growth" for female empowerment: "It's important for woman to start making out in public." "

Oh, for GOD'S sake. Surely the LAST thing we need is MORE damn people making out in public. And as for a "huge growth in female empowerment"? Um, what? You mean the ability to look ill-mannered in public? Yeah, that's just as empowering as hell. Really.

On a much more charming note, I have been rather casually looking through apartment listings on the internet. I must say that I'm thrilled to know that there are actually apartments out there in my price range and my chosen neighborhood, but you do have to look carefully. There's one building that's advertised all over the place that sounds quite lovely, and it says it's in the East Village. And the ads announce that it's "just steps" to Union Square, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, etc. However, if you look carefully at the end, you discover that this joint is in Gramercy Park. I'm sorry...the East Village is between say, 4th Avenue and Avenue D (or the FDR Drive) and between 14th Street and Houston Street. Gramercy Park is in the East 20s. How is this in the East Village?

But what thrills me to the very core about the ads for this building is that they all (and there are a LOT of ads for this place) seem to provide you with roommates for no extra charge. And indeed, whether you want one or not. I base this idea on the fact that in each and every one of the ads there is a line that states quite plainly: "High ceilings and large widows in every room."

This seems quite excessive. By my count, given the usual run of New York apartments, that would give me five large widows to live with...well, "in every room," i.e., kitchen, two bedrooms, living room, bathroom. Certainly, I am the LAST person in the world to deny these poor ladies a place to live; after all, I'm a widow myself. But could we discuss exactly HOW large? Could I, for instance, share one of those galley kitchens with one, should our cooking hours coincide (always a consideration with roommates)? And what about bedroom space? I'm not at all sure I want to share my bedroom with a large widow, and that ad does say, "in every room." And closet space? I mean, I'm quite a small widow...about a size 6 or 8...and I somehow feel that sharing closets with a large widow of, oh, say, a size 24 or so might possibly squeeze my wardrobe space just a bit. And the bathroom is just impossible.

Although, since they do say "high ceilings" in connection with the large widows, perhaps they mean height. Now, at 5'3", I can see all sorts of advantages to this. There's putting away the huge pots I only use at Thanksgiving, for instance, and changing the bulbs in ceiling fixtures and this sort of thing, and I wouldn't need to haul out the ladder or call the super every time (after all these years of co-op living, you cannot possibly imagine what a frisson of total delight it gives me to say "call the super").

Still, aside from the impossibility of living in Gramercy Park, which is a quiet, old moneyish sort of place - exactly the kind of thing I dearly wish to avoid - I think I'll skip the large widows, lovely ladies though I'm sure they are.

Love, Wendy

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