Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Why I Read Newspapers

A rich feast today in, respectively, the NYTimes and the Post.

The Times food section has a wonderful story about a guy who has a cable access channel show called Bronx Flavor. He sounds like an enthusiastic nut case, but those are my favorite people. The story is notable, however, for a quote that encapsulates why I live in New York. The gentleman (who goes by the title Baron Ambrosia) says that he loves getting people to cross racial and cultural lines to find wonderful food and cites this example:

"People have written to me and said, 'I'm West African, and I've never gone to an Albanian restaurant until I saw it on your show.' "

This is spectacular. It also sounds like a great beginning for a joke: "A West African walks into an Albanian restaurant..."

In the Post (perpetrator, many years ago, of the best headline ever - "Headless Body in Topless Bar"), their News of the Weird column mentions that there is now (in Japan, I believe - of course) a device that purports to translate your dog's barks so you can tell if he/she is sad, happy, frustrated or wants to play. Hungry isn't mentioned; I presume that's because with most dogs, it's a given.

I don't think this will ever fly with cats. First of all, there's the problem of getting the cat near the device or the device near the cat. If you have ever owned a cat - sorry, been owned by a cat - you will be well aware that cats go where THEY want to go, which is invariably in the opposite direction of where YOU want them to go.

Secondly, I'm afraid that the translation, presuming the cat deigned to make a noise at all, would run in an endless loop of "You're not feeding me and you're not scratching my belly. Fuck off."

Love, Wendy

No comments: