Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Shoot The Weatherman!

Boy, am I tired of getting lied to by the damn weathermen. I don't care what you look at or listen to, be it weather.com or the TV news or whatever, everybody's been predicting thunderstorms for two days now. Last night there was even a severe thunderstorm warning on weather.com - for about a minute and a half. Then you go look at the radar, and there are all these thunderstorms popping up - in a neat circle around the island of Manhattan. Never anything actually OVER Manhattan. I know that the idea of climate controlled domed cities is science fiction, but honestly, I'm beginning to think that maybe there are things we don't know, and we really are under a dome. Which actually doesn't make any sense because if you're going to control a climate, you wouldn't have had this heat wave, I guess. Unless maybe the climate is being controlled by Con Ed and the manufacturers of air conditioners. THAT would make sense.

Meanwhile they keep saying it's going to rain heavily. Two nights ago there was a tiny little splatter on my bedroom skylight, and when I went to the deli tonight around 6 pm, I felt four raindrops. I don't know about anyone else, but this is NOT my notion of heavy rain.

However, there may just be some rain coming, because now we have humidity. Did anyone but me notice that while the temperatures were in the 90's the last few days, the humidity was very low? (Probably not - as a thunderstorm nut, I get obsessive about this sort of thing as normal people do not.) Anyway, I think, although don't quote me, that there probably has to be some moisture around for a thunderstorm. But now we've got humidity! Oy, have we got humidity. So what we need now is RAIN, damn it. I have an idea, however. Perhaps tomorrow I will take a nice long walk to somewhere without an umbrella or the money to grab a taxi home. That should do it, right?

On a completely different subject (I'm allowed, it's MY blog), I swear I can't get elected for dogcatcher these days. No temp agencies are calling. I have submitted my picture and resume for every single thing for which I am at all right - this includes "homeless squatters" and "mental ward patients" - you think I'm kidding? - and nothing. Nada. Not a peep from anybody in this whole wide world who wants to pay me for doing anything. I am beginning to get somewhat annoyed - not to mention extremely broke again.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat worms. (Which, if I don't get a paying job soon, may turn out to be my only alternative. Paging Anthony Bourdain...) WAAAAA!

Love, Wendy

No comments: