Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Absolutely Nothing To Report

But of course, that doesn't stop me from babbling anyway.

Nothing in the mail today except a notice about a sale in a store I never go to with prices I can't afford to pay - which is fine, because the store carries clothes I'd never wear. This works out nicely. And anyway, it was addressed to Sarah.

Meanwhile I think I'll hit my cousin over the head. Just on general principles. My cousin is my housemate, and he is VERY peculiar. For instance, he suffers from ADD. Well, fine - although frankly, since he's 60, one would have thought he'd have grown out of it by now. Maybe not...I really don't know all that much about adult ADD because I try to listen to him as little as possible. One of the reasons for this (and there are MANY - mostly revolving around the fact that he never shuts up and he's very boring and he repeats himself to the point of nausea - my nausea, that is) is that he has decided that since he has ADD, EVERYONE has ADD. He keeps greeting me in the morning by congratulating me on how well I'm handling my ADD. Which I find irritating as hell, since I do not now nor have I EVER had ADD. (Well, I'm sorry about all the typographical shouting, but he's been particularly irritating recently.) He got me so wound up about this that I actually went on the Web to look it up - figuring maybe he knew something I didn't. Well, obviously and of course, I don't have ADD. Not one single symptom. When I informed him of this, he smiled smugly and told me again how well I was doing with it. He also magnanimously offered me some of his Ritalin to take to make me feel better. Can you honestly imagine anybody being that idiotic? He watches me take five prescriptions every morning of my life and then thinks I should take a pill that was not prescribed to me for a disease I don't have? (Not to mention - better than what, exactly? I feel fine.) Aaaargh. He also has celiac disease (the thing where you can't eat wheat), and goes on about that at great length...great, great, great length. Incessantly.

Ah, well - he's been doing good things around the house lately and paying for them (always a point in anyone's favor), by way of a nice lesbian he invited to stay with us who happens to be an electrician and plumber and who, as a thank you for staying with us while she sorts out her life, has now fixed the electricity, the leak in the upstairs bathroom, and the shower head, and is going on with painting the bathrooms and laying tile in the kitchen. And cousin Joshua has been paying for the raw materials! So, nobody's all bad. It's just that some people are deeply annoying.

Meanwhile, I have had a terrific idea which I plan to put in motion tomorrow. When I got this current temp job back in November, I was trained by a sweet little shlub of a middle-aged guy named John (the kind who's in his late 40's and still lives with his mother, even though he's not gay - more neuter), who was fascinated by me, and bats his (very thin) eyelashes at me whenever we meet in the elevator. I'm going to ask him to pass on to me the firm's test for Word Processing Center operators and help me with it - because WP operators make a LOT more money than plain old secretaries. I figure if I bat my eyelashes back at him, I can get away with this one...it's worth a try, anyway.

Here's to me trying to be a femme fatale...the world's oldest femme fatale, except maybe Mae West.

Love, Wendy

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