Tuesday, June 24, 2008

BURP!!!

I woke up this morning under the impression that it was going to be a long, long day. The check hadn't cleared yesterday; ergo, I had no cigarettes (I don't mean a couple in the pack, I mean NO CIGARETTES, as in go through garbage for long butts), I had no diet soda for breakfast, and no money for the papers. And these are three of the four absolute necessities in my life (beer is more or less the fourth one, but I really can live without that - without diet Coke, no). And you have to understand that normally my bank clears things after 4 pm - so you can imagine what my day was going to be like - particularly with no beer to get me back to sleep so I could just doze until 4.

So I dragged myself to my computer, and what ho! ACTUAL MONEY IN THE BANK! Whoop, yahoo, and all like that!

I promptly went and got cigarettes, diet soda, and the papers...but unfortunately, being on this monetary high, I forgot to get anything to eat. The result was that I read my papers, drank my diet coke, smoked many, many cigarettes that I didn't have to ration to one an hour (which is what I've been doing in these lean times hereabouts). Then I went off to Christopher Street to buy more cigarettes and get a good sized chunk of money out of the bank and pick up a prescription for my inhaler and get something to eat. Unfortunately, I had left the eating part for too long.

The thing is that I verge on hypoglycemic, and have appetite problems anyway, and it was now like three hours after I had awoken, and I had eaten early the night before. So I made it to the cash, the prescription, the cigarettes, and Gourmet Garage - at which point I damn near passed out cold and instead of doing the other things that I had planned, grabbed a taxi home and ate (lovely baguette, expensive French butter, prosciutto, Camembert, and gorgeous fresh cherries). Then I felt MUCH better, but still didn't feel like going back out again.

I then spent the rest of the day reading on the porch until it got darkish and I came downstairs to eat my other Gourmet Garage purchase, which is one of my favorite things in the world - lovely sea scallops wrapped in bacon. And lots more cherries, for which I have a mad passion.

So I am now feeling perfectly fine except very, very full of food.

And tomorrow I am going to do the things which I didn't get to today, which are:

New black flats (Payless, here I come)
Barnes and Noble at Union Square...which is just a hop, skip and jump from...
H&M at 18th and 5th, which has this absolutely great blue and white striped summer dress for 35 bucks which I lust after
Maybe Filene's to see what bras are on sale
Definitely the Greenmarket because I'll be there anyway

After which I am going to get deeply mundane and change kitty littler and prevent Joshua from repairing the screen door in my room with duct tape, because I know perfectly well how to repair a screen door without it.

What is it with men and duct tape? I feel absolutely sure that if I were having a sudden baby without benefit of doctor/midwife/whatever, and the father of said upcoming baby was anywhere in the vicinity, he'd start looking around wildly for duct tape, under the impression that it would do SOMETHING. (That said, if you want to stop a major winter draft from the window onto your balcony, duct tape is absolutely the thing.)

I am now going to slip happily into the food coma from which I roused myself to give all of you people the glad tidings of my current state of reasonable solvency. (burp...burp...burp...)

Love, Wendy

2 comments:

Sarah Booz said...

You're so pretty! ::BURP::

SaintTigerlily said...

My brother had a book with which you could make anything with duct tape. He had a wallet and a tie.

Seriously.