Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Beware of Senior Citizens!

I give up. I just give up. Today's New York Post (always good for a laugh) had a story about an item that had just lost a fight with some government agency involving health to be listed as a medical device.

It was a 9mm handgun designed to be easy to fire for people with arthritis.

I think this is wonderful. What a terrific present for Granny to find under the tree! "Look, Grandma! You know those pesky kids who're always chasing their ball into your yard? Guess what you can do now, even with that terrible arthritis! I knew you'd be thrilled!"

And I would dearly love to know what on earth made the manufacturers of this little gem try to position it as a medical device to begin with. "Well, Pa's psychiatrist says that his depression would be MUCH better if he could just blow away all those people who annoy him, but it's so difficult for him to hold his old 45 with his arthritis..."

Obviously a product whose time has come.

In other news (this in the NY Daily News), officials in Prague are concerned that the economy is just ruining their country's ability to be a sex tour capital. Prague? A sex tour capital? I mean, according to all reports (I've never been there), Prague is a gloriously beautiful historic city, more than well worth a visit. But SEX TOURS? I tend to put Czechs in with Germans as rather proper and somewhat humorless people (yes, yes, I know...don't start screaming at me in comments, we all have our prejudices and anyway I'm partially German so I'm sort of allowed). I just somehow don't connect sex tours with Eastern Europe at all. (Paris, now, and London...oh, I could tell you stories for days.) Anyway, I'm confused by this...but this is hardly new and different - there's a whole LOT of the modern world that confuses me.

That is all my news, since I've been doing absolutely nothing of any interest to anyone, including me. And if I don't get some damn work pretty soon, Christmas this year is going to consist of me handing out sweet smiles and IOU's and asking people to chip in for the cost of the macaroni and cheese while I try to hang Christmas ornaments on some old celery sticks in a vase.

There is one bright spot - my under-employment came through (well, I am sort of employed, so obviously under-, not un-) to the tune of $294 a week, which is very welcome...this means that when, as it looks this this week, my entire take-home is $96, they will make up the difference to $294 (less tax, of course). Maybe this doesn't seem like much to you, but on the other hand, have you ever tried living in Manhattan on $96 a week?

Love, Wendy

1 comment:

Sarah Booz said...

THE GERMAN'S ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SHIT PORN. THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY.