Well, after Joshua did in the salami and cheese platter, he managed to get into the ham I made him buy me to replace the salami and cheese platter. Then he finished off the bacon (that, of course, I had plans for - such as eating it).
From here on in, I am going to confine my food purchases to things that are A. covered in bread crumbs, or B. shellfish (neither one of which he will touch). Alternatively, I'm going to take another chunk of his money and buy myself a tiny refrigerator to keep in my bedroom...WITH A PADLOCK.
I strongly recommend the Trader Joe's flounder stuffed with crabmeat. Admittedly, I would quite probably eat a down comforter if it was stuffed with crabmeat, but this was really good.
By the way...a small but mildly interesting sidelight on Joshua's "allergies." He insists that he can't eat animal fat, right? He also insists he's not able to eat smoked food. Anybody want to explain to me how salami, bacon and ham are 1. not smoked, and 2. contain no animal fat? I'm merely asking...