Thursday, September 18, 2008

Two Days in the Sea of Stomachs

The Sea of Stomachs can be found at the Jacob Javits Center here in NY, that being where I have been working for two interminable days. It was a computer convention called something like Intecon, or Interop, or some damn thing, and I have never seen so many enormous male bellies in one place in my entire life - even, I think, including Times Square (this may be because I usually run through Times Square as fast as I can, thus limiting my exposure).

As far as I can tell, computer men don't ever get up from the keyboard, and are intravenously fed beer and potato chips. You would not have believed it. Here I am, spending two days in guy heaven - men all over the place - and in those two days, I saw precisely two men (one each day) who were even remotely passable. Amazing. Sagging belly after sagging belly after sagging belly.

My favorite was a guy that I kept sneaking peeks at because I didn't believe he actually existed. (My job consisted of clicking my little laser reader at people's ID's, and business was pretty slow where I was, so plenty of time to people watch.) This man had a world class bellly to begin with - it rippled when he walked, which was interesting, in a sort of nauseating way - and he had chosen to clothe himself in a blue polo shirt (size 400) and a pair of plaid Bermuda shorts. It got worse after I finally dragged my eyes away from his midsection, because under the shorts, he had elected to wear knee high black socks and a pair of what looked like Uggs. A fashion plate!

The few woman at this fandango were predictably dowdy (computer people don't really care about fashion), except for a few. These few broads had, for some reason, decided to go for broke, and were wearing skin-tight everything and 4-inch heels.

Well, why? Computer nerds don't notice this sort of thing anyway (they're entirely likely to look at a women's tits and ask how many RAMs they have). And who in their right mind would decide to trot all over a place the size of the Javits Center in spike heels?

Ah, well. At least I get paid for this.

Nothing else is at all new. The sun rises and sets, the cats yell for food (and throw up with amazing regularity - cats are such fun). The money is tight.

But the weather is amazingly gorgeous, and my newest temp agency has given me two jobs in two weeks (admittedly little low-paying ones, but we'll see), so things are vaguely looking up, right?


Love, Wendy

1 comment:

SaintTigerlily said...

Cats and the throw up. Lady, don't get me started.

(In some bizarre twist of fate - the mixed up crazy word verfication dealie below spells "ecxarf" which is, I think, the word for the sound of a cat barfing.)