ENOUGH!

Yes, well, enough is enough.

My upstairs neighbors, they of the terrible tobacco allergies and God knows what other diseases, have lodged another complaint about the constant cigarette fumes coming from my apartment.

I think this is fascinating, and should surely earn them a place in the Guinness Book of World Records, or whatever its actual title is. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone...anyone who was actually sane, that is...complaining about billows of cigarette smoke in their apartment, coming from an apartment in which no one has smoked for just about three weeks now.

I have my electronic cigarette, and when the craving for a real cigarette overwhelms me, I simply put on my boots (for those of you outside NYC, we are having a bitch and a half of a winter...it keeps snowing and sleeting and God knows what all) and go downstairs and smoke a cigarette. Having been told I'm not allowed to smoke on my front stoop, I go three doors down to a building that is being renovated and therefore has no tenants and smoke in front of that. Last Monday when it was 10 degrees out, I was out there smoking.

Anybody who can translate this into large billows of smoke coming from my apartment is more than welcome to try.

And would you believe that my word on the subject doesn't seem to be good enough and they are sending someone to inspect tomorrow?

I think I will go outside and smoke a cigarette and bite perfect strangers for a while...just on general principles. After which I will suggest a good mental health professional for my upstairs neighbors.

Love, Wendy