Oh, boy. You know, I can sit here for weeks on end, having wonderful, misty dreams about getting my ass out of bed/off the chair and doing things around the house and whatnot, and then all of a sudden...WHAM. All hell breaks loose.
I have this show I'm doing at Theater for the New City, which is one of my pal Philippe's efforts to bring French-Canadian drama to the United States. He has these little moments every now and then, but we're all very kind to him and bathe his head in cool water and eventually it goes away...
No, this is really, as far as I can tell, a pretty good effort. It's called Bite Your Tongue, and is being marketed as being the things people don't usually say out loud. Well, in this day and age it seems a bit tame, but it's amusing and we've got some good actors. I play a woman of 70 (yeah, not such a far leap, which scares me a little) who is on a tour of New York with a young courier. He does a monologue around me, at the end of which he decides he wants to kiss me. This monologue of his, naturally, is him describing his feelings to another guy...not to me. At any rate, he eventually leans forward to kiss me, and I say No. Twice. This is the sum total of my contribution to the play. Frankly, after playing Shakespearean leads, I find it extremely restful. But it's quite a good workout, too...I'm doing it just about entirely in mime, of a sort...i.e., I'm sort of doing the things he's describing, more or less. It's hard to explain, but it's fun. And I actually get to wear nice clothes, which after the rags I'm wearing in Black Nativity and my usual faded old crud for Boardwalk Empire, is a nice change.
But my Lord, the hoopla that's going on with this thing! Philippe is doing a huge publicity push for the whole project (which will include more plays). So the night before opening, we're throwing a VIP red carpet dinner and after party at someplace called Speakeasy on Mulberry Street. Luckily, it's cocktail dress, not gowns...I haven't the remotest notion where I'd get a gown. Well, yes, of course I do, what what the hell would I do with it after I got it? The younger girls seems to be wearing a lot of red for this, so I'm leaning toward my good black dress with pearls (well, what ELSE?), considering that I'm rather the eminence gris in this circus. But what the hell, we get fed.
So the schedule looks like this:
2/19 - The law firm. Which is good, because I need cash. I've been working on rolled up change for two days. One of the nice things about living in my edgy neighborhood is that EVERYBODY does that while they're waiting for their Social Security and food stamps. The delis don't turn a hair.
2/20 - My third (and last) day on Black Nativity. Matching shot, which means I get to freeze to death in Times Square some more. I'm so excited about this that I may vomit. They DAMN well better have some coffee on that set this time.
2/21 - Rehearsal. Just in case I forget how to say no. Not, actually, that saying no has EVER figured heavily in my life...
2/22 - BOARDWALK! YAHOO! Yup, had my costume fitting last week for this season's assemblage from the bottom of the costume barrel. Ratty denim skirt, ratty brown checked blouse, ratty blazer...the usual. Who cares? And it's a night shoot on Staten Island...which means more money because of night differential. I can't wait! We all know how much I love my Boardwalk.
2/23 - Rehearsal. So I can remember how to say no some more.
2/24 - Sunday off, thank God, for reading the papers and sleeping.
2/25 - Rehearsal.
2/26 - Rehearsal.
2/27 - Long, LONG day. Rehearsal 12 - 5, and then the VIP party and after party. This is tech and dress...I can't imagine how I'm going to stay awake, but TNC has its lovely basement with couches all over the place, and anyone who wants me can come and wake me up. And let's remember that there's a good (I hope) meal at the end of it that I don't have to pay for.
2/28 - Opening night.
2/29 - Complete collapse of elderly actress. Well, at least until call time at the theatre.
So anyone who wants the benefit of my wit and wisdom will simply have to wait until after opening night, which will be described in rich and charming detail. Promise you'll miss me!