I have never complained about the United States Post Office. I mean, of course the lines are long around Christmas, and I think my paychecks from movies and TV should arrive faster, but other than that, I conduct business (you know, paying bills and whatnot) just about completely electronically.
I am now complaining. I have never seen such a bunch of blithering idiots in my LIFE. You're going to just LOVE this saga.
On December 19, I got a package from one set of my in-laws. Also in my mailbox that day was one of those little pink slips that tells you there's a package. However, it was entirely blank. So I assumed that the mail person had made a mistake...I already had a package, right?
Well, on Tuesday...yes, that would be Tuesday, the 22nd of January...I got another little pink slip. This one WAS filled out. Complete with date of first attempt at delivery...DECEMBER 19th. Yup. they brought it back ONE MONTH LATER. Now, there was NO reason not to leave it with Jimmy the super, since it didn't say "needs signature" or anything like that. But who knows.
So I called the 800 number for the USPS, and read them the tracking number for the package, which turned out to be wrong. We tracked the thing down, and I got a promise that it would be redelivered the next day.
It wasn't. I called back. It wasn't delivered yesterday either...in fact, it didn't even get on the truck where it was supposed to be. Wasn't delivered today, either...and I know damn well the truck was there because someone else got a pink slip for a package. And I had left a note on the mailbox saying PLEASE RING BELL AT APT. 5E FOR DELIVERY. The note was missing. There was no pink slip.
I have called my local post office, which doesn't answer the phone. I have spoken to the 800 USPS number every single day. Today, just for the sake of variety, I spoke to the NYC Consumer Affairs Department, which helpfully informed me that my post office is the worst in the city. This doesn't make things better.
So I think the package is being returned to sender today, which isn't a disaster, since it must be a Christmas gift from another set of in-laws and probably contained chocolates and mixed nuts, which I would very much like to have, but which are certainly not desperately important to my life and continued well-being. However, the whole thing is just INFURIATING.
Therefore, I exhort you all: Use FedEx. Use UPS. Use DHL. Use a goddamn mule train. BUT DON'T GO NEAR THE POST OFFICE!